The Bruins can't make a shot and can't generate offense. Collison was just called for a foul. Time for UCLA to play hack-a-Shaq and start fouling the Tigers.
The common thought coming into this game was that UCLA's defense would slowly wear Memphis down. But the opposite has occurred.
Love is taking too many outside shots.
The Bruins make a great defensive stand.
Love miss. He has not had a great game tonight.
OhmyGod! Chris Douglas-Roberts just dunked on Love!
Love just redeemed himself by blocking Dorsey and then Dorsey makes a great rejection of his own.
Three minutes left and Memphis is up by 11.
Game over.
Goodnight UCLA.
Thus far, with 2:53 left, Dorsey has one of the strangest lines you will ever see: no points, 12 rebounds, two assists and two blocks.
Even Prisco could score at least one basket.
They just showed Penny Hardaway on the screen. Why Penny? Why not Dollar Hardaway?
You know the game is over when Memphis makes it free throws.
Kevin Love? Helloooooo? Kevin? Big fella? You there?
In the past 5:22 no UCLA field goals.
Not one.
Just dreadful.
Final score: 78-63 Memphis.
Memphis fans are going crazy and will officially be insufferable for the next 24 hours. I don't even want to talk about Calipari.
As for Ben Howland, this is just a brutal loss. Getting to this many consecutive Final Fours demonstrates his brilliance and greatness. It's damn difficult to do.
Unfortunately this is a bottom line business and his failure to win will frustrate some Bruins fans. Howland is going to become known as the Marv Levy of the college basketball coaching business. To me, that's an awesome comparison. But to others, it's a slap in the face.
Taking a break to go drink with Leinart and will be back for the University of North Hansbroughs against Kansas.
JOEY DORSEY HAS ZERO POINTS
The big zilcho for Dorsey. He also just landed his third foul with 19 minutes to go.
That's the bad news. The good news is that Memphis leads by seven.
Think about that. Dorsey is probably the team's second best player and he's done basically nothing and Memphis is still winning.
I'm awaiting my man Love to put his stamp on the game. He had the quietest 10 first half points I've ever seen.
46-37 Memphis.
"Hey Ben why don't you call another timeout," says Elvis, mockingly.
The Bruins despite 17 minutes to play have only two left.
I'm beginning to think Collison is extremely overrated. He's getting destroyed by Memphis guards the way D.J. Augustin did in the Texas game.
48-37 Memphis. The Tigers are making their free throws.
Huge rebound and put-back by Love.
Block and dunk by Memphis. Even when their offense is sluggish by their standards they can whip somebody's ass.
UCLA on a little run. Five point game.
Quick question: Who is the player most likely to end up with photos of him, a bong and babes on the Internet ala Matt Leinert?
Easy answer: Dorsey.
Dorsey and Love are having a great physical battle under the basket. Dorsey, despite his foul trouble, is crushing UCLA on the boards.
Memphis continues to make its free throws and Dorsey takes a seat for now.
Twelve minutes left the UCLA lead is back to seven. The Bruins have to get two or three good stops.
The refs are calling the second half a little tighter.
INSERT YOUR UGLY JOKE HERE
At this rate, if you had a drink for every missed shot, your blood alcohol level would be gin and tonic.
UCLA can't quite control the tempo because they can't make shots. But their defense is preventing Memphis from sticking its foot up Bruin butt. Memphis has a five point lead.
Calipari is a great, great coach. I like him most of the time. He's a Hall of Famer and a pro team should make another run at him. Yet every time I see him I think: no thanks on the extended warranty.
Even on a steal UCLA can't score. Dorsey blocks a UCLA steal and break.
Memphis huge dunk and they're starting to widen the gap.
Love gets booed by psycho Memphis fans for taking so long to get to the free throw line. Relax people. Love had to take a bite out of his roast beef sandwich first.
Another timeout. Time for me to go grease down my laptop.
Oh, wait. It's been about five minutes since a CBSSports.com community member wrote this: "FREEMAN'S A RACIST!!" Just want to keep the continuity going on the site.
This is one of the uglier Final Four games you will ever see. There is a loss of a ratings point with every Darren Collision brick.
The Memphis defense is playing better than UCLA's.
Niles just came into the game. All the M&Ms in the building just ran for their lives. Same with the burgers and hot dogs.
I don't think I've ever seen a basketball player that big. He's Big Baby with high cholesterol.
Tyler Hansbrough just dove on the floor for a loose ball! Oh, wait, he's not playing yet.
Love is making love to the free throw line.
I'm telling you now. Derrick Rose is going to be a 10-time All-Star.
Rose complained to the ref about getting fouled. Calipari complained as well then he said: "You really should look into the extended warranty."
UCLA continues to stick around. It's just 38-35 at the half.
This is the kind of game UCLA wants -- almost. Memphis is still able to generate offense. They've taken almost 40 shots already. Forty!
FINALLY, THE GAME BEGINS
If suddenly this luscious blog stops that means the NCAA busted me, took my computer and dragged me to court like my name was Chris Henry.
I have to say this: Memphis forward Pierre Niles is listed at 310. But I believe that 310 is one thigh. Niles looks like he ate a small car.
UCLA wins the tip and scores the first basket. The clock winded down pretty far.
Did you know that Tyler Hansbrough is gritty?
Memphis two bad shots back to back.
UCLA 3-pointer. 5-0 UCLA.
If you're UCLA you love this pace. But Kevin Love hasn't gotten involved.
There he goes. Hook shot. Followed by a UCLA three.
Memphis goes to a press and UCLA beats it easily. You're seeing what happen when AND 1 Memphis goes against athletes against as they are. The game is much more hotly contested.
Big 3 by Memphis. 11-10.
Rose just scored and that was followed by a Memphis dunk. Suddenly it's 17-12 Memphis.
The scoreboard, for a few minutes, had UCLA players listed under Memphis and vice versa. I'm the only loser who seeks these kinds of things out.
Love is sweating and breathing like he just ran a marathon. Big boy needs to do more cardio.
Another timeout. Somebody get me a beer and some Greek yogurt.
Dorsey is beating Love down the court constantly. Hey Love, next time, skip the chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.
Another timeout. Ben Howland excitedly gestures at an official. Howland showing emotion seems unusual. Howland seems so laid back he makes Tim Duncan look like Robin Williams.
UCLA's offense right now is horrible. But the Tigers' isn't much better. It;'s 24-23 with nine minutes left.
THE BEST OFF THE COURT...
Cheerleaders: Memphis. Runner up: UCLA
Band: Memphis
Fans: Memphis. But they're also the most obnoxious.
Mascot: UCLA. Though he grabs his crotch too much.
Dressed coach: Calipari.
Mohawk: Doyel.
JUST 40 MINUTES UNTIL MEMPHIS-UCLA
This game to me is the best of the night. I love contrast of style contests. Can UCLA slow down the Tigers?
This is how different Memphis is: during warm-ups now they're practicing alley ooop dunks. That's when you know a team likes to run and gun.
Another NFL comparison: If Memphis loses isn't their season a waste? Wouldn't it be similar to that of the New England Patriots last year?
A STORY YOU WON'T BELIEVE
Pete Prisco told this story when I appeared on his radio show (one of the best in the country I must add). I won't mention the coach's name except to say it's an NFL coach EVERYONE knows.
Prisco was at the owner's meetings in Florida. He had to go to the bathroom (get that image out of your head as quickly as possible). Inside was the NFL coach doing his thing. But in a nearby closed stall was some ruffling and woman's voice. The woman was saying something to the NFL coach to the effect of is it safe to come out?
Prisco was obviously wondering: what the hell is going on here?
A woman comes out of the stall. It was the head coach's girlfriend.
So to recap: the head coach brought his girlfriend into the men's bathroom. Just bizarre. I mean really, really odd.
Especially since there was no one in the nearby women's bathroom.
That has to be one of the best stories I've heard in many years.
BATTLESTAR DORK
Quick question:
If you have been awaiting the season premier of "Battlestar Galatica" the way a nine-year-old awaits Christmas morning are you:
A: A Loser
B: A Fracking Loser
C: A big, fat fracking loser with no life?
